Something Has to Change

Welcome to the United States...where moms cry because they have to stay home with sick kids. No I'm not talking being sad they're sick. After all, they're kids and it happens ALL. THE. TIME. I'm talking being frustrated because we have no sick days left after maternity leave to care for our children or ourselves. See how the United States ranks for paid maternity leave here ⤵️

The day I was supposed to go back to work after my maternity leave (part of which was unpaid) I ended up with a stomach bug. There's one personal day gone. My first official day back and my sons first day of daycare was Tuesday, January 25th. We soon found out he and our daughter were both exposed to a positive Covid case that day. On his first day 😫. Saturday the 29th he developed a fever but was still happy as could be. Sunday-Tuesday he was perfectly fine with no fever. Then Wednesday he developed a deep, raspy cough. Turns out he was also exposed the 27th and 28th (we didn't find out about that until early the next week). Daycare said he coughed but it wasn't terrible on Wednesday. Thursday they said he coughed a few more times but again not awful. We left daycare and I called the clinic to see if we could get a 4:45 PM appointment (it's a 45 minute drive from daycare). They were able get him in 🙌

Positive.

So I used my 2nd of 3 personal days to stay home on Friday with both kids. He can return on the 9th, but our daughter on the other hand...it's like a mathematical equation to figure out her return date. If we test her at home on the 9th and 11th and they are both negative, she can return the 14th. Or we can go to the clinic for a PCR test on the 9th and she can go back the 14th. If we choose not to test her at all, she'd be out until the 21st. We'll plan to take her to the clinic to be tested because I'd rather test her only once than try to do it twice at home. This is all assuming we could keep her away from the baby 🤣. Good luck doing that in the same house. She is now staying with my parents, who will also need to take time off next week to watch her. We're VERY grateful and thankful they live nearby and can help out.

When we pulled into the respiratory clinic on Thursday to have the baby tested, our toddler started screaming, "No! Not my nose! I'm healthy! Don't want to see a doctor today!" Even when we went inside she was crying and kept saying "Go home mommy, please go home" 😥. She thought we were there for her. Poor kiddo has been tested over 10 times at the clinic over the course of two years during the pandemic, and a few times at home as well. Why so many times? Prior to rules for daycare changing, she needed a negative test to return to daycare after being exposed or after showing any symptoms. Over the course of my maternity leave she was exposed four times at daycare and needed to quarantine and have a negative test each time. 

Okay that's all fine and dandy. I 💯% understand the reasoning for the timeframe she has to be out this time. But...now I only have 1 personal day remaining and that will have to be used on 7th. So I'll have an unpaid day on the 8th. There's still a lot of the school year left to not need a single sick day. Any remaining days will be unpaid. This is the frustrating part. Moms are forced to choose between staying home for a decent length maternity leave or going back to work early and saving those days for other illness that are bound to pop up. Both of my babies were c-section babies so I stayed home for a longer amount of time. This time was for 11 weeks. I wouldn't change that time for the world! But now I'm forced with having 0 days left and a husband who has a job that doesn't have the flexibility to stay home (unless it's his scheduled week off & even then he's called in half the time). I could have gone back a few weeks earlier to save some sick days, but I stayed home knowing I'd never get that time back to spend with a newborn. I don't regret it for a second. 

It's hard knowing the young moms I work with have depleted our leave, while the person down the hall has 100+ days racked up. Some employers allow staff to donate days to a "sick bank" for staff to use, but mine does not. Being on our associations executive council, I understand there are stipulations with who can donate days, who can use days and for what circumstances, etc. But it would still be nice! I couldn't tell you the number of times veteran staff have said, "Oh Nichole I wish I could give you some days." I'm very appreciative for the thought, but the reality is it will probably never happen. Staff who never have a major medical issue or have a baby will end up losing sick days because they'll max out. Yet the young moms (who need the days the most), don't have a single one. That hurts the pocket books too.

I had 13.5 days of unpaid leave while on maternity leave. That's enough to put us out a significant amount of money. Each day I am home for the remainder of the year I will lose hundreds of dollars. Every. Single. Day. I don't share that for people to feel sorry for me. Those that know me know I don't ever talk about finances publicly. But I feel light needs to be shed on this. A teacher with a masters degree, eight years experience (seven in the district), mom of two has zero days to care for her family. What if we want more children in the future? To take a full twelve-week maternity leave (60 work days), I would need to work for the next four years (we earn 15 sick days per year) and not use a single sick day in that time. That's next to impossible. If/when we chose to have more children, or if we ever have sick family members to take care of, we'll be faced with the same problem.

On top of that, the cost of daycare is roughly half of my monthly paycheck. I've often been told, "If you want a job when the kids are older, it's just something you need to do now." I know daycare bills will not be there forever. It's just another one of "those" things that are a systemic issue. I absolutely love my current position and have no intentions of leaving; however, something has to change. Could I quit my job and stay home? I suppose I could. But the other half of my paycheck is still used to pay other bills, so that option just isn't feasible either. 

This is not a school district issue. They've followed our contract and done absolutely nothing wrong. This isn't a daycare issue. They've followed requirements set forth by the Minnesota Department of Health and the CDC. We are fortunate in rural Minnesota to have childcare that is significantly cheaper than the metro area. This isn't a pandemic issue. This is an issue in most professions. This is a family/parental/maternity leave issue. I don't have any of the answers, but...

Something has to change.